JOKE OF THE DAY...The Lone Ranger & Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day, when they stopped to take a rest. Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened.

Pointing down Tonto said "Buffalo come, here!"

"How can you tell, Tonto? Tracks?" asked the Lone Ranger.

"No! Face sticky."

Picture of the Day...A Drawing Lesson

Thanks to John Sweeney for this!

STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY...Permanent Erection!?

He should join the porn business!

http://www.livescience.com/17898-penis-tattoo-blamed-permanent-erection.html

Easy Money Store Visit...Hilarious!

JOKE OF THE DAY...

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. At closing time he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him to get on the road and stopped the driver. He then administered a breathalyzer test. Amazingly the results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer asked the driver “How the hell can you blow a 0.0?”

The driver replied, "Easily. Tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”

STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY...Watching Paint Dry Championships

And to think when I listen to some peoples boring stories I could be doing this instead.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/886822-watching-paint-dry-championship-attracts-international-interest

JOKE OF THE DAY...The Broken Mirror

A guy runs next door to his friends house holding his hand as the blood runs down his arm. As he rings the doorbell, his friend answers the door holding a newborn baby.

"Holy shit bro! What the hell happened?" Says the friend holding the baby.

"I just broke the mirror on my car. The cut isn't too bad but now I'm going to have SEVEN years bad luck for breaking the friggin mirror!'

The friend looks down at the baby and says "You think seven years for breaking a mirror is bad luck. Try breaking a condom!"

JOKE OF THE DAY...Room 204

A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me." She looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's ok. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204."

STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY...Three for the Price of One!

Man tries to purchase items with $1,000,000.00 bill!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45834097/ns/us_news-weird_news/#.TwMVDFbNlNE

PETA demands cow tombstones on highways!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2080612/PETA-demands-installation-highway-memorials-COWS.html

Lost wedding ring found on carrot?!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16374283